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A dozen direct censures are easier to bear than one morganatic compliment.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Bears
Direct
Easier
Censures
Censure
Compliment
Dozen
Bear

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Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?
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I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.
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It's not as bad as it sounds.
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Probably there is an imperceptible touch of something permanent that one feels instinctively to adhere to true humour, whereas wit may be the mere conversational shooting up of smartness--a bright feather, to be blown into space the second after it is launched...Wit seems to be counted a very poor relation to Humour....Humour is never artifici
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Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.
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What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind.
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I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure.
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But in this country we have one great privilege which they don't have in other countries. When a thing gets to be absolutely unbearable the people can rise up and throw it off. That's the finest asset we've got - the ballot box.
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The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
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Few of us stand prosperity another man's I mean.
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It is a good and gentle religion, but inconvenient.
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I am only human, although I regret it.
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A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.
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Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.
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Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Death, the refuge, the solace, the best and kindliest and most prized friend and benefactor of the erring, the forsaken, the old and weary and broken of heart.
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We write frankly and freely, but then we modify before we print.
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I speak French with timidity, and not flowingly--except when excited. When using that language I have often noticed that I have hardly ever been mistaken for a Frenchman, except, perhaps, by horses never, I believe, by people.
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To trust the God of the Bible is to trust an irascible, vindictive, fierce and ever fickle and changeful master.
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This is the year 1492. I am eighty-two years of age. The things I am going to tell you are things which I saw myself as a child and as a youth.
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The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
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