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I have been cautioned to talk but be careful not to say anything. I do not consider this a difficult task.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Tasks
Careful
Consider
Talk
Difficult
Anything
Cautioned
Task

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None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses.
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I do love compliments, yet I'm often embarrassed to say what I think to the person when I get a compliment. I so often feel that they have not gone far enough.
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Unused talents gives you no advantage over someone who has no talent at all.
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Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
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You can't no more teach what you ain't learned than you can come from where you ain't been.
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Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
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Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not the State. If I choose injudiciously, does the state die? Oh, no.
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A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.
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Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.
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What a lumbering poor vehicle prose is for the conveying of a great thought! ... Prose wanders around with a lantern & laboriously schedules & verifies the details & particulars of a valley & its frame of crags & peaks, then Poetry comes, & lays bare the whole landscape with a single splendid flash.
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I have no race prejudices, and I think I have no color prejudices or caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. Indeed I know it. I can stand any society. All that I care to know is that a man is a human being-that is enough for me he can't be any worse.
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I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army.
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There is no use in your walking five miles to fish when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful near home.
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Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness.
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Being rich ain't what it's cracked up to be. It's just worry and worry, and sweat and sweat, and a-wishing you was dead all the time.
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Don't dream your life, but live your dream
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He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.
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Heaven is the very last place to come to rest and don't you be afraid to bet on that!
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As for the dinosaur - But Noah's conscience was easy it was not named in his cargo list and he and the boys were not aware that there was such a creature. He said he could not blame himself for not knowing about the dinosaur, because it was an American animal and America had not then been discovered.
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A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
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