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I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Things
Sarcasm
Sarcastic
Happened
Whether
Funny
Back
Better
Find

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It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain.
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The master minds of all nations, in all ages, have sprung in affluent multitude from the mass of the nations, and from the mass of the nation only-not from its privileged classes.
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One learns peoples through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect.
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God cures and the doctor sends the bill.
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I have learned that human existence is essentially tragic. It is only the love of God, disclosed and enacted in Christ, that redeems the human tragedy and makes it tolerable. No, more than tolerable. Wonderful.
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To be satisfied with what one has that is wealth.
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If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
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Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.
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It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail.
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If God had meant for us to be naked, we'd have been born that way.
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God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
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Frankenstein took some flesh and bones and blood and made a man out of them the man ran away and fell to raping and robbing and murdering everywhere, and Frankenstein was horrified and in despair, and said, I made him, without asking his consent, and it makes me responsible for every crime he commits. I am the criminal, he is innocent.
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A half-educated physician is not valuable. He thinks he can cure everything.
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The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
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I do not allow my schooling to interfere with my education
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Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience - 4000 critics.
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I am living a new and exalted life of late. It steeps me in a sacred rapture to see a portrait develop and take soul under my hand. First, I throw off a study - just a mere study, a few apparently random lines - and to look at it you would hardly ever suspect who it was going to be even I cannot tell, myself.
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I don't mind what the opposition say of me so long as they don't tell the truth about me. But when they descend to telling the truth about me I consider that this is taking an unfair advantage.
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It is better to support schools than jails.
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