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America cannot have an empire abroad and a Republic at home.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
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Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
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Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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America
More quotes by Mark Twain
I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache and what is more, I never intend to have it.
Mark Twain
Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go.
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Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
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The more you join with people in their joys and their sorrows, the more nearer and dearer they come to be to you.
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It is not worth while to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.
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A sense of humor is the one thing no one will admit to not having.
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I don't believe there is anything in the whole earth that you can't learn in Berlin except the German language.
Mark Twain
All you drunkards: Put down the intoxicating Vanity Metrics.
Mark Twain
The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.
Mark Twain
There's something in it when a body like the widow or the parson prays, but it don't work for me, and I reckon it don't work for only just the right kind.
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There is only one good sex. The female one.
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The calamity that comes is never the one we had prepared ourselves for.
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Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world and give out fictitious ones in their stead for general consumption.
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Man proposes, but God blocks the game.
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That is a simple rule, and easy to remember. When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any question every Mohammedan is insane not in all things, but in religious matters.
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To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
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The peoples furthest from civilization are the ones where equality between man and woman are furthest apart-and we consider this one of the signs of savagery.
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Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
Mark Twain
The average man don't like trouble and danger.
Mark Twain
Always obey your parents - when they are present.
Mark Twain
