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These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
True
Consumerism
Mighty
Supreme

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Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
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Go to bed early, get up early-this is wise.
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Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
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Knowledge becomes wisdom only after it has been put to good use.
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The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
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In my experience, previously counted chickens never do hatch.
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She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot
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Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood.
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There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.
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An American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi-Gras in New Orleans.
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There is only one expert who is qualified to examine the souls and the life of a people and make a valuable report - the native novelist. ... And when a thousand able novels have been written, there you have the soul of the people and not anywhere else can these be had.
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What is there that confers the noblest delight? What is that which swells a man's breast with pride above that which any other experience can bring to him? Discovery!
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If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
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I think that the reason why we Americans seem to be so addicted to trying to get rich suddenly is merely because the opportunity to make promising efforts in that direction has offered itself to us with a frequency out of all proportion to the European experience.
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You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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The critic's symbol should be the tumble-bug: he deposits his egg in somebody else's dung, otherwise he could not hatch it.
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Honor is a harder master than the law.
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When the world is made to be idiot-proof, the world will become overpopulated with idiots.
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People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made.
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Learning softeneth the heart and breedeth gentleness and charity.
Mark Twain