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These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Consumerism
Mighty
Supreme
True

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I have criticized absent people so often, and then discovered, to my humiliation, that I was talking with their relatives, that I have grown superstitious about that sort of thing and dropped it.
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When you feel like tellin a feller to go to the devil - tell him to go to Chicago - it'll anser every purpose, and is perhaps, a leetle more expensive.
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Two things seemed pretty apparent to me. One was that in order to be a pilot a man had to learn more than any one man ought to learn and the other was that he must learn it all over again in a different way every 24 hours.
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A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.
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Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
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In love, you pay as you leave.
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A half-educated physician is not valuable. He thinks he can cure everything.
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An uneasy conscience is a hair in the mouth.
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He wa'n't no common dog, he wa'n't no mongrel he was a composite. A composite dog is a dog that is made up of all the valuable qualities that's in the dog breed-kind of a syndicate and a mongrel is made up of all riffraff that's left over.
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I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.
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Eight grown Americans out of ten dread the coming of the Fourth, with its pandemonium and its perils, and they rejoice when it is gone-if still alive.
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The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.
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Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so.
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One learns peoples through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect.
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The more you join with people in their joys and their sorrows, the more nearer and dearer they come to be to you.
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It's lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened.
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....try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard.
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Independence-is loyalty to one's best self and principles, and this is often disloyalty to the general idols and fetishes.
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We have to keep our God placated with prayer, and even then we are never sure of him-how much higher and finer is the Indian's God...Our illogical God is all-powerful in name, but impotent in fact the Great Spirit is not all-powerful, but does the very best he can for his injun and does it free of charge
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
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