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The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession-and take the credit of the correction.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Bible
Procession
Failing
Corrected
Church
Corrections
Also
Tail
Take
Tails
Never
Fails
World
Drop
Corrects
Credit
Correction

More quotes by Mark Twain

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What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
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The master minds of all nations, in all ages, have sprung in affluent multitude from the mass of the nations, and from the mass of the nation only-not from its privileged classes.
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Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
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Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.
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There's a good spot tucked away somewhere in everybody. You'll be a long time finding it, sometimes.
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To forget pain is to be painless to forget care is to be rid of it to go abroad is to accomplish both.
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A man who carries a cat by the tail is getting experience that will always be helpful. He isn't likely to grow dim or doubtful. Chances are, he isn't likely to carry the cat that way again, either. But if he wants to, I say let him!
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Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake he wanted it because it was forbidden.
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At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on their clothes to keep them from being stolen.
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My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.
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We like to read about rich people in the newspapers the papers know it, and they do their best to keep this appetite liberally fed.
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Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.
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For we were little Christian children and early learned the value of forbidden fruit.
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Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
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Morals consist of political morals, commercial morals, ecclesiastical morals, and morals.
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To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
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The lightning there is peculiar it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn't leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether-Well, you'd think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there.
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Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
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It is agreed, in this country, that if a man can arrange his religion so that it perfectly satisfies his conscience, it is not incumbent on him to care whether the arrangement is satisfactory to anyone else or not.
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The frankest and freest and privatest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter.
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