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There is not a single celebrated Southern name in any of the departments of human industry except those of war, assassination, lynching, murder, the duel, repudiation, & massacre.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Human
Department
Duel
Humans
Murder
Massacre
Except
Lynching
Industry
Massacres
Single
Departments
Name
Assassination
Names
Celebrated
War
Southern
Repudiation

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Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Death, the refuge, the solace, the best and kindliest and most prized friend and benefactor of the erring, the forsaken, the old and weary and broken of heart.
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Make your mark in New York and you are a made man.
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Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?
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All our acts, reasoned and unreasoned, are selfish
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The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all.
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Seasickness: at first you are so sick you are afraid you will die, and then you are so sick you are afraid you won't die.
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There has been only one Christian. They caught and curcified him-early.
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We have the best government that money can buy.
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A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.
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Conscience, man's moral medicine chest.
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Benaras is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together!
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Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!
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Too much is just enough.
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It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
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All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
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I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
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Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
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Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
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Additional problems are the offspring of poor solutions.
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Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
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