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I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Come
Without
Men
Loaded
Noticed
Statistics
Prove
Science
Anything
More quotes by Mark Twain
A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?
Mark Twain
Diligence is a good thing, but taking things easy is much more restful.
Mark Twain
If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
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A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt
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I don't believe there is anything in the whole earth that you can't learn in Berlin except the German language.
Mark Twain
No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live.
Mark Twain
Greece is a bleak, unsmiling desert, without agriculture, manufactures or commerce, apparently. What supports its poverty-stricken people or its Government, is a mystery.
Mark Twain
Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'
Mark Twain
Troubles are only mental it is the mind that manufactures them, and the mind can gorge them, banish them, abolish them.
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The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow.
Mark Twain
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
Mark Twain
If you're looking for friends when you need them...it's too late.
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There has been only one Christian. They caught and curcified him-early.
Mark Twain
Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.
Mark Twain
Wisdom teaches us that none but birds should go out early, and that not even birds should do it unless they are out of worms.
Mark Twain
It is not in the least likely that any life has ever been lived which was not a failure in the secret judgment of the person who lived it.
Mark Twain
Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.
Mark Twain
Some things you can't find out but you will never know you can't by guessing and supposing: no, you have to be patient and go on experimenting until you find out that you can't find out.
Mark Twain
Don't go to sleep, so many people die there.
Mark Twain
I was born modest not all over, but in spots.
Mark Twain