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Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Often
Case
Remarks
Three
Figures
Damned
Kind
Lies
Apply
Would
Cases
Statistics
Disraeli
Justice
Investing
Beguile
Lying
Humorous
Attributed
Funny
Particularly
Remark
Force
Kinds
Arranging
More quotes by Mark Twain
A man can be a Christian or a patriot, but he can't legally be a Christian and a patriot - except in the usual way: one of the two with the mouth, the other with the heart.
Mark Twain
The old Irish when immersing a babe at baptism left out the right arm so that it would remain pagan for good fighting
Mark Twain
The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.
Mark Twain
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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Why is it that, among men, physical courage is a trait so plenteous yet moral courage is a trait so rare?
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Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so it is the sickening grammar that they use.
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One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.
Mark Twain
An uneasy conscience is a hair in the mouth.
Mark Twain
A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.
Mark Twain
Each of you, for himself, by himself and on his own responsibility, must speak.
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I think that the reason why we Americans seem to be so addicted to trying to get rich suddenly is merely because the opportunity to make promising efforts in that direction has offered itself to us with a frequency out of all proportion to the European experience.
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Optimist: day-dreamer in his small clothes.
Mark Twain
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
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Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.
Mark Twain
I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.
Mark Twain
I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshold of age in 1977 I shall be 142.
Mark Twain
Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
Mark Twain
Each season brings a world of enjoyment and interest in the watching of its unfolding, its gradual harmonious development, its culminating graces-and just as one begins to tire of it, it passes away and a radical change comes, with new witcheries and new glories in its train.
Mark Twain
There is nothing so annoying as a good example!!
Mark Twain
Make your mark in New York and you are a made man.
Mark Twain