Quote

Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Mark Twain

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Force
Kinds
Arranging
Often
Case
Remarks
Three
Figures
Damned
Kind
Lies
Apply
Would
Cases
Statistics
Disraeli
Justice
Investing
Beguile
Lying
Humorous
Attributed
Funny
Particularly
Remark

More quotes by Mark Twain

Image
Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.
Mark Twain
Image
Some things you can't find out but you will never know you can't by guessing and supposing: no, you have to be patient and go on experimenting until you find out that you can't find out.
Mark Twain
Image
You cant reach old age by another man's road, my habits protect my life but they would assassinate you
Mark Twain
Image
The less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it
Mark Twain
Image
Once I talked to the inmates of an insane asylum in Hartford. I have talked to idiots a thousand times, but only once to the insane.
Mark Twain
Image
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Mark Twain
Image
God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
Mark Twain
Image
The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
Mark Twain
Image
There is no such thing as a new idea. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope.
Mark Twain
Image
And how moving is the eloquence of the untaught when it is the heart that is speaking!
Mark Twain
Image
I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way.
Mark Twain
Image
Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.
Mark Twain
Image
Heaven is the very last place to come to rest and don't you be afraid to bet on that!
Mark Twain
Image
Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.
Mark Twain
Image
Choosing not to read is like closing an open door to paradise
Mark Twain
Image
There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press
Mark Twain
Image
There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares!
Mark Twain
Image
A man may plan as much as he wants to, but nothing of consequence is likely to come of it until the magician circumstance steps in and takes the matter off his hands.
Mark Twain
Image
I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.
Mark Twain
Image
Marriage -- yes, it is the supreme felicity of life. I concede it. And it is also the supreme tragedy of life. The deeper the love the surer the tragedy. And the more disconsolating when it comes.
Mark Twain