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Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Kind
Lies
Apply
Would
Cases
Statistics
Disraeli
Justice
Investing
Beguile
Lying
Humorous
Attributed
Funny
Particularly
Remark
Force
Kinds
Arranging
Often
Case
Remarks
Three
Figures
Damned

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If we learned to walk and talk the way we learn to read and write, everyone would limp and stutter.
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You may say organize, organize, organize but there may be so much organization that it will interfere with the work to be done.
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in order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.
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The government is merely a servant―merely a temporary servant it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
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The cost of living hasn't effected its popularity.
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The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.
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We all like to see people sea-sick when we are not ourselves.
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Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent then he would have eaten the serpent.
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Life is but a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream.
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A discriminating irreverence is the creator and protector of human liberty.
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I have thought many times since that if poets when they get discouraged would blow their brains out, they could write very much better when they got well.
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I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is past-can't be restored.
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Good wine needs no bush a jug is the thing.
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Cherimoya, the most delicious fruit known to men.
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Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first! Aunt Polly about Tom Sawyer
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A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
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Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself.
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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
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History may not repeat, but it often rhymes.
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