Quote

Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Mark Twain

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Would
Cases
Statistics
Disraeli
Justice
Investing
Beguile
Lying
Humorous
Attributed
Funny
Particularly
Remark
Force
Kinds
Arranging
Often
Case
Remarks
Three
Figures
Damned
Kind
Lies
Apply

More quotes by Mark Twain

Image
Names are not always what they seem.
Mark Twain
Image
The introduction of homeopathy forced the old school doctor to stir around and learn something of a rational nature about his business. You may honestly feel grateful that homeopathy survived the attempts of the allopaths to destroy it.
Mark Twain
Image
Canadian girls are so pretty it's a relief now and then to see a plain one.
Mark Twain
Image
Broad, wholesome, charitable views .. can not be acquired by vegetating in one's little corner of the earth.
Mark Twain
Image
You want to be very careful about lying otherwise you are nearly sure to get caught.
Mark Twain
Image
A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.
Mark Twain
Image
Sometimes my feelings are so hot that I have to take the pen and put them out on paper to keep them from setting me afire inside then all that ink and labor are wasted because I can't print the results
Mark Twain
Image
Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion.
Mark Twain
Image
What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth.
Mark Twain
Image
Switzerland is simply a large, lumpy, solid rock with a thin skin of grass stretched over it.
Mark Twain
Image
Never waste a lie you never know when you may need it.
Mark Twain
Image
...nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and contact with many kinds of people.
Mark Twain
Image
Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.
Mark Twain
Image
I begin to see that a man's got to be in his own heaven to be happy.
Mark Twain
Image
The Mississippi River will always have its own way no engineering skill can persuade it to do otherwise.
Mark Twain
Image
Delicacy - a sad, sad false delicacy - robs literature of the two best things among its belongings: Family-circle narratives & obscene stories.
Mark Twain
Image
Thanksgiving Day - Let all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys, they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji.
Mark Twain
Image
Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first! Aunt Polly about Tom Sawyer
Mark Twain
Image
A man may plan as much as he wants to, but nothing of consequence is likely to come of it until the magician circumstance steps in and takes the matter off his hands.
Mark Twain
Image
His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.
Mark Twain