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Switzerland is simply a large, lumpy, solid rock with a thin skin of grass stretched over it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Skins
Rock
Lumpy
Large
Switzerland
Rocks
Stretched
Simply
Solid
Thin
Grass
Skin

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I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: Now here are these two unaccountable freaks they came in together, they must go out together.
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Diligence is a good thing, but taking things easy is much more restful.
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Vote: The only commodity that is peddleable without a license.
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It is easier to stay out than get out.
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The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.
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Honest poverty is a gem that even a king might be proud to call his own - but I wish to sell out
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The house was as empty as a beer closet in premises where painters have been at work.
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Our best built certainties are but sand-houses and subject to damage from any wind of doubt that blows
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Memories which someday will become all beautiful when the last annoyance that encumbers them shall have faded out of our minds.
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Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented.
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One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.
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The joy of killing! the joy of seeing killing done - these are traits of the human race at large.
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If you take epitaphs seriously, we ought to bury the living and resurrect the dead.
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I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.
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The southerner talks music.
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