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To forget pain is to be painless to forget care is to be rid of it to go abroad is to accomplish both.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Care
Painless
Abroad
Accomplish
Travel
Forget
Pain

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When you feel like tellin a feller to go to the devil - tell him to go to Chicago - it'll anser every purpose, and is perhaps, a leetle more expensive.
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But we are all insane, anyway ... The suicides seem to be the only sane people.
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Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.
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Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.
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There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
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Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879
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It is a good thing to write for the amusement of the public, but it is a far higher and nobler thing to write for their instruction, their profit, their actual and tangible benefit.
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If God is what people say there can be no one in the universe so unhappy as He for He sees unceasingly myriads of His creatures suffering unspeakable miseries--and besides this foresees how they are going to suffer during the remainder of their lives. One might as well say, As unhappy as God.
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I like the truth sometimes, but I don't care enough for it to hanker after it.
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How slow and still the time did drag along.
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There is only one expert who is qualified to examine the souls and the life of a people and make a valuable report - the native novelist. ... And when a thousand able novels have been written, there you have the soul of the people and not anywhere else can these be had.
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I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.
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If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could to-day.
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The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh.
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Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
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Bridgeport? Said I. Camelot, Said he.
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Do right and you will be conspicuous.
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Until I came to New Mexico, I never realized how much beauty water adds to a river.
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July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so
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When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
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