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Talking of patriotism, what humbug it is it is a word which always commemorates a robbery.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Always
Humbug
Robbery
Patriotism
Word
Talking

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The idea that a baby doesn't amount to anything! Why, one baby is just a house and a front yard full by itself. One baby can, furnish more business than you and your whole Interior Department can attend to. He is enterprising, irrepressible, brimful of lawless activities.
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The newspaper that obstructs the law on a trivial pretext, for money's sake, is a dangerous enemy to the public weal. That awful power, the public opinion of a nation, is created in America by a horde of ignorant, self-complacent simpletons who failed at ditching and shoemaking and fetched up in journalism on their way to the poorhouse.
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Sum all the gifts that man is endowed with, and we give our greatest share of admiration to his energy. And today, if I were a heathen, I would rear a statue to Energy and fall down and worship it!
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I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome variety is pleasing.
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I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.
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Man can seldom - very, very, seldom - fight a winning fight against his training the odds are too heavy.
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My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.
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Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
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I said nothing of the sort.
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Be good and you'll be lonesome
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The highest pleasure to be got out of freedom, and having nothing to do, is labor.
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Let your joy be unconfined!
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Modesty antedates clothes and will be resumed when clothes are no more.
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Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
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I was born with Halley's Comet and I expect to die upon its return
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The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
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Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
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Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?
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When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what He doesn't know.
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It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
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