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Astonishing things can be done with the human memory if you will devote it faithfully to one particular line of business.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Human
Devote
Humans
Astonishing
Done
Memory
Things
Line
Memories
Particular
Lines
Business
Faithfully

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The only people that a bank will loan money to is the very people who don't need it.
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Tis Better to Sit there and LOOK the fool, than to open your mouth and prove it.
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In literature imitations do not imitate.
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[The Bible is] a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology.
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As a rule we develop a borrowed European idea forward, and ... Europe develops a borrowed American idea backwards.
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The catfish is Plenty good enough fish for anyone
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What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
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Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.
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He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.
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Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent then he would have eaten the serpent.
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The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow.
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The cigar-box which the European calls a 'lift' needs but to be compared with our elevators to be appreciated. The lift stops to reflect between floors. That is all right in a hearse, but not in elevators. The American elevator acts like a man's patent purge-it works.
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As a boy, I once saw a cart of melons that sorely tempted me. I sneaked up to the cart and stole a melon. I went into the alley to devour it, but no sooner had I set my teeth into it, than I paused, a strange feeling coming over me. I came to a quick conclusion. Firmly, I walked up to that cart, replaced the melon - and took a ripe one.
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Truth is more of a stranger than fiction. When in doubt, tell the truth. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use.
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That is a simple rule, and easy to remember. When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any question every Mohammedan is insane not in all things, but in religious matters.
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Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity. That is where the true evil lies.
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