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Ethical man: A Christian holding four aces.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Christianity
Four
Christian
Men
Aces
Ethical
Holding
God

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She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot
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It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.
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Children have but little charity for one another's defects
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A sense of humor is the one thing no one will admit to not having.
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All good things arrive unto them that wait - and don't die in the meantime.
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The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent.
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What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.
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Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it.
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Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.
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The introduction of homeopathy forced the old school doctor to stir around and learn something of a rational nature about his business. You may honestly feel grateful that homeopathy survived the attempts of the allopaths to destroy it.
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I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.
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It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh and I think that I may say that an American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
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I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman.
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Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
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I try never to let my schooling get in the way of my education.
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To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.
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We despise all reverences and all objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our list of sacred things. And yet, with strange inconsistency, we are shocked when other people despise and defile the things which are holy to us.
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When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
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Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick but every time you's gwyne to git well agin.
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