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My experience with horses is that they never throw away a chance to go lame.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Animal
Chance
Experience
Away
Never
Lame
Horses
Throw
Horse

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Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket - which is but a matter of saying, Scatter your money and your attention but the wise man saith, Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET. - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
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That is a simple rule, and easy to remember. When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any question every Mohammedan is insane not in all things, but in religious matters.
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I have damaged my intellect trying to imagine why a man should want to invent a repeating clock, and how another man could be found to lust after it and buy it. The man who can guess these riddles is far on the way to guess why the human race was invented - which is another riddle which tires me.
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There isn't anything you can't stand if you are only born and bred to it.
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The solution to our water problems is more rain.
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If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory!
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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
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The fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined to women, but now and then you find it in a little dog, and sometimes a man.
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What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to be everything.
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God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
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We can't always have the beautiful aspect of things. Let us make the most of our sights that are beautiful and let the others go
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Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.
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Intellectual ''work'' is misnamed it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
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I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.
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All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
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Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven & hell & I have only a vague curiosity about one of those.
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Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.
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A woman springs a sudden reproach upon you which provokes a hot retort, and then she will presently ask you to apologize.
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Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.
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