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My experience with horses is that they never throw away a chance to go lame.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Never
Lame
Horses
Throw
Horse
Animal
Chance
Experience
Away

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The moral of it is this: If you are of any account, stay at home and make your way by faithful diligence but if you are 'no account,' go away from home, and then you will have to work, whether you want to or not. Thus you become a blessing to your friends by ceasing to be a nuisance to them-if the people you go among suffer by the operation.
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Modesty antedates clothes and will be resumed when clothes are no more.
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Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.
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George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.
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An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it.
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He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
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What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to be everything.
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India is, the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grand mother of tradition. our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only.
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The law of work seems unfair, but nothing can change it the more enjoyment you get out of your work, the more money you will make.
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Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.
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The convention missionaries call modesty has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anybody's whim - anybody's diseased caprice.
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You can never find a Christian who has acquired this valuable knowledge, this saving knowledge, by any process but the everlasting and all-sufficient 'people say.'
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If I had more time, I would have written less.
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The ancients stole all our ideas from us.
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It's an epitome of life. The first half of it consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance the last half consists of the chance without the capacity.
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I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
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A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
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There are no wild animals until man makes them so.
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A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
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Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.
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