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We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Worship
Americans
Wells
Worthier
Well
Heredity
Dollar
Almighty
Privilege
Dollars

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None but the dead have free speech.
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The most difficult We do not deal in facts when we are contemplating ourselves.
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What a lumbering poor vehicle prose is for the conveying of a great thought! ... Prose wanders around with a lantern & laboriously schedules & verifies the details & particulars of a valley & its frame of crags & peaks, then Poetry comes, & lays bare the whole landscape with a single splendid flash.
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Life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages.
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All people have had ill luck, but Jairus's daughter and Lazarus had the worst.
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We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way has been found out of securing that.
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The physician who knows only medicine, knows not even medicine.
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I had longed to be a butterfly, and I was one at last. I attended private parties in sumptuous evening dress, simpered and aired my graces like a born beau, and polkaed and schoisched with a step peculiar to myself - and the kangaroo.
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We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the different countries, so that we can show off and astonish people when we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with our strange foreign fashions which we can't shake off.
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Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.
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It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want—oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!
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Astonishing things can be done with the human memory if you will devote it faithfully to one particular line of business.
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Two things seemed pretty apparent to me. One was that in order to be a pilot a man had to learn more than any one man ought to learn and the other was that he must learn it all over again in a different way every 24 hours.
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My land, the power of training! Of influence! Of education! It can bring a body up to believe anything.
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Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse.
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I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than any in the world.
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In the ancient city of London, on a certain autumn day in the second quarter of the sixteenth century, a boy was born to a poor family of the name of Canty, who did not want him.
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Do your duty today and repent tomorrow.
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There is a great difference between feeding parties to wild beasts and stirring up their finer feelings in an inquisition. One is the system of degraded barbarians, the other of enlightened civilized people.
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I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache and what is more, I never intend to have it.
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