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We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Almighty
Privilege
Dollars
Worship
Americans
Wells
Worthier
Well
Heredity
Dollar

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Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
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I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
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The cigar-box which the European calls a 'lift' needs but to be compared with our elevators to be appreciated. The lift stops to reflect between floors. That is all right in a hearse, but not in elevators. The American elevator acts like a man's patent purge-it works.
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It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want—oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!
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Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.
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Music is a good thing and after all that soul-butter and hogwash, I never see it freshen up things so, and sound so honest and bully.
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when you recollect something which belonged in an earlier chapter, do not go back, but jam it in where you are . Discursiveness does not hurt an autobiography in the least.
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It is impossible that a genius - at least a literary genius - can ever be discovered by his intimates they are so close to him that he is out of focus to them and they can't get at his proportions they can't perceive that there is any considerable difference between his bulk and their own.
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Shall we go on conferring our Civilization upon the peoples that sit in darkness, or shall we give those poor things a rest?
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It is a time when one's spirit is subdued and sad, one knows not why when the past seems a storm-swept desolation, life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death.
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Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.
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I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't...The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further.
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The Bible is a wonderful book you can prove anything you want with it.
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The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
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When people do not respect us we are sharply offended yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
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There is not a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.
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Humor is like a frog if you dissect it, it dies.
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I was a-trembling, because I'd got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it.
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Like most people, I often feel mean, and act accordingly.
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Make your mark in New York and you are a made man.
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