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There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Vulgarity
Refined
Vulgar
Quite
People

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I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't...The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further.
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You can never find a Christian who has acquired this valuable knowledge, this saving knowledge, by any process but the everlasting and all-sufficient 'people say.'
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Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.
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It is the will of God that we must have critics and missionaries and congressmen and humorists, and we must bear the burden
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It’s not the good that die young, it’s the lucky.
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There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.
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Music is a good thing and after all that soul-butter and hogwash, I never see it freshen up things so, and sound so honest and bully.
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We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege.
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All men are ignorant, just on different subjects.
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No man, deep down in the privacy of his heart, has any considerable respect for himself.
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That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it.
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God puts something good and loveable in every man His hands create.
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He gossips habitually he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.
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Each season brings a world of enjoyment and interest in the watching of its unfolding, its gradual harmonious development, its culminating graces-and just as one begins to tire of it, it passes away and a radical change comes, with new witcheries and new glories in its train.
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Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.
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I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
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The average man don't like trouble and danger.
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That is a simple rule, and easy to remember. When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any question every Mohammedan is insane not in all things, but in religious matters.
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The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods. It remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is no more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate.
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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
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