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There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Vulgarity
Refined
Vulgar
Quite
People

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A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.
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Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.
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There is a sumptuous variety about the New England weather... In the spring I have counted one hundred and twenty-six different kinds of weather inside of four and twenty hours.
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What's the use you learning to do right , when it's troublesome to do right and it ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?
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A good lawyer knows the law a clever one takes the judge to lunch.
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God was left out of the Constitution, but was furnished a front seat in this nations currency. (In God we Trust) is a lie, this nations trust has always been with the dollar.
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Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval - a thing which, to the general run of the human race, is more dreaded than wolves and death.
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There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus and upset the convictions and debauch the emotions of an audience not practiced in the tricks and delusions of oratory
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Unused talents gives you no advantage over someone who has no talent at all.
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To gnaw on is human, towards digest, divine.
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The exercise of an extraordinary gift is the supremest pleasure in life.
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Benaras is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together!
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Too much is just enough.
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It is not in the least likely that any life has ever been lived which was not a failure in the secret judgment of the person who lived it.
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Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it.
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Don't dream your life, but live your dream
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Our best built certainties are but sand-houses and subject to damage from any wind of doubt that blows
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More than once I have been humiliated by my resemblance to God the father He is always longing for the love of His children and trying to get it on the cheapest and laziest terms He can invent.
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