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I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Relation
Taxes
Social
Whole
Taxation
People
Criminal
Relations
Friendly
Criminals

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The ignorant are afraid to betray surprise or admiration...they think it ill manners.
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It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
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All war must be just the killing of strangers against whom you feel no personal animosity strangers whom, in other circumstances, you would help if you found them in trouble, and who would help you if you needed it.
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One must travel, to learn. Every day, now, old Scriptural phrases that never possessed any significance for me before, take to themselves a meaning.
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No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests.
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A half-educated physician is not valuable. He thinks he can cure everything.
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Not a single right is indestructible: a new might can at any time abolish it, hence, man possesses not a single permanent right. God is Might (and He is shifty, malicious, and uncertain).
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There is not a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.
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One is apt to overestimate beauty when it is rare
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Few of us stand prosperity another man's I mean.
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The sole impulse which dictates and compels a man's every act: the imperious necessity of securing his own approval, in every emergency and at all costs.... It is our only spur, our whip, our goad, our impelling power we have no other.
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Learn from the mistakes of others - you won't live long enough to make them all yourself. He's opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer him the position.
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Golden rule: Made of hard metal so it could stand severe wear, it not being known at that time that butter would answer.
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Jesus died to save men - a small thing for an immortal to do - and didn't save many, anyway. But if he had been damned for the race, that would have been act of a size proper to a god, and would have saved the whole race.
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I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is past-can't be restored.
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Italy is the home of art and swindling home of religion and moral rottenness
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Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.
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There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others.
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