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I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Social
Whole
Taxation
People
Criminal
Relations
Friendly
Criminals
Relation
Taxes

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A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.
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When a man stands on the verge of seventy-two you know perfectly well that he never reached that place without knowing what this life is - heartbreaking bereavement.
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To be satisfied with what one has that is wealth.
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Additional problems are the offspring of poor solutions.
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I was standing in our dining-room thinking of nothing in particular, when a cablegram was put into my hand. It said, 'Susy was peacefully released today.' It is one of the mysteries of our nature that a man, all unprepared, can receive a thunder-stroke like that and live.
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Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair & reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. The proof-reading on the P & Pauper cost me the last rags of my religion.
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I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
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Too bad that youth is wasted on the young.
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He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
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The exercise of an extraordinary gift is the supremest pleasure in life.
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Truth is stranger than fiction-to some people, but I am measurably familiar with it.
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What is there that confers the noblest delight? What is that which swells a man's breast with pride above that which any other experience can bring to him? Discovery!
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Is a person's public and private opinion the same? It is thought there have been instances.
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The nation is divided, half patriots and half traitors, and no man can tell which from which.
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I try never to let my schooling get in the way of my education.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
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Unused talents gives you no advantage over someone who has no talent at all.
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But in this country we have one great privilege which they don't have in other countries. When a thing gets to be absolutely unbearable the people can rise up and throw it off. That's the finest asset we've got - the ballot box.
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