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By law of periodical repetition, everything which has happened once must happen again and again -- and not capriciously, but at regular periods, and each thing in its own period, not another's and each obeying its own law.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Everything
Period
Must
Periods
Thing
Happen
Capriciously
Happened
Periodical
Law
Obeying
History
Repetition
Another
Cycles
Happens
Regular

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The new political gospel: public office is private graft.
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I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this sort of stuff is hogwash
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The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.
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A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
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A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.
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It's not the parts of the Bible I don't know that worries me...it's the parts that I do.
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It must be well-nigh a maximum of sense to behave so that one escapes being hanged.
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Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.
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Being rich ain't what it's cracked up to be. It's just worry and worry, and sweat and sweat, and a-wishing you was dead all the time.
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Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR per G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE
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Shut the door not that it lets in the cold but that it lets out the coziness.
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To write without pay until somebody offers pay. If nobody offers pay within three years, the candidate may look upon this circumstance with the most implicit confidence as the sign that sawing wood is what he was intended for.
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I bring you this stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored from pirate raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Phillipines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking-glass.
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Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion.
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It is not worth while to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.
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Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion.
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Additional problems are the offspring of poor solutions.
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