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Damn these human beings if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Beings
Head
Human
Humans
Lecturer
Would
Bags
Invented
Hide
Damn

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I have at last, after several months' experience, made up my mind that [New York] is a splendid desert--a domed and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race.
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There are some natures which never grow large enough to speak out and say a bad act is a bad act, until they have inquired into the politics or the nationality of the man who did it.
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The newspaper that obstructs the law on a trivial pretext, for money's sake, is a dangerous enemy to the public weal. That awful power, the public opinion of a nation, is created in America by a horde of ignorant, self-complacent simpletons who failed at ditching and shoemaking and fetched up in journalism on their way to the poorhouse.
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In writing, I shall always confine myself strictly to the truth, except when it is attended with inconvenience.
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A better idea than my own is to listen.
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All my life I have been honest-comparatively honest. I could never use money I had not made honestly-I could only lend it.
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The human race is a race of cowards and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
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He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three I attended their funerals.
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It must be well-nigh a maximum of sense to behave so that one escapes being hanged.
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I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.
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Each man must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, which course is patriotic and which isn't. You cannot shirk this and be a man. To decide against your conviction is to be an unqualified and excusable traitor, both to yourself and to your country, let men label you as they may.
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In love, you pay as you leave.
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Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
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You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first.
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If everyone was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes.
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There is no other life life itself is only a vision and a dream for nothing exists but space and you. If there was an all-powerful God, he would have made all good, and no bad.
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The pause - that impressive silence, that eloquent silence, that geometrically progressive silence which often achieves a desired effect where no combination of words, howsoever felicitous, could accomplish it.
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Difference between savage and civilized man: one is painted, the other gilded.
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Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.
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There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.
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