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Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Jokes
Race
Together
Human
Humans
Patched
Nothing
Devised
Important
Joke
Time
Dull
More quotes by Mark Twain
No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house.
Mark Twain
He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
Mark Twain
All our acts, reasoned and unreasoned, are selfish
Mark Twain
Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German.
Mark Twain
We recognize that there are no trivial occurrences in life if we get the right focus on them.
Mark Twain
Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of thing, any way you take him a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities. He is always undergoing repairs. A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market.
Mark Twain
Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.
Mark Twain
As a rule, we go about with masks, we go about looking honest, and we are able to conceal ourselves all through the day.
Mark Twain
Civilization largely consists in hiding human nature. When the barbarian learns to hide it we account him enlightened.
Mark Twain
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain
I persuaded him to throw the dirk away and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself.
Mark Twain
Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.
Mark Twain
Ours is the land of the free-nobody denies that-nobody challenges it. (Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.)
Mark Twain
If there wasn't anything to find out, it would be dull. Even trying to find out and not finding out is just as interesting as trying to find out and finding out and I don't know but more so.
Mark Twain
We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else. If everybody was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes
Mark Twain
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
Mark Twain
History doesn't repeat itself it rhymes.
Mark Twain
Old habits cannot be thrown out the upstairs window. They have to be coaxed downstairs one step at a time.
Mark Twain
Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.
Mark Twain
Low comedies are written for the drawing-room, the kitchen and the stable, and if you cut out the kitchen and the stable the drawing-room can't support the play by itself.
Mark Twain
