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Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Together
Human
Humans
Patched
Nothing
Devised
Important
Joke
Time
Dull
Jokes
Race

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The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying that such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills like everything.
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If there wasn't anything to find out, it would be dull. Even trying to find out and not finding out is just as interesting as trying to find out and finding out and I don't know but more so.
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I was warned to stop smoking, which I did, for two or three days, but it was too lonesome, and I have resumed - in a modified way - 4 smokes a day instead of 40. This will have a good effect. On the bank balance.
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The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.
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The thing for us to do is just to do our duty, and not worry about whether anybody sees us do it or not.
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The sole impulse which dictates and compels a man's every act: the imperious necessity of securing his own approval, in every emergency and at all costs.... It is our only spur, our whip, our goad, our impelling power we have no other.
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Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.
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The ignorant are afraid to betray surprise or admiration...they think it ill manners.
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We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
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High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water but everybody likes water.
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Love is an irreresisistible desire to be irresistibily desired.
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I have at last, after several months' experience, made up my mind that [New York] is a splendid desert--a domed and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race.
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Don't you know that the very thing a man dreads is the thing that always happens?
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God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.
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The public is the only critic whose judgment is worth anything at all.
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God was left out of the Constitution, but was furnished a front seat in this nations currency. (In God we Trust) is a lie, this nations trust has always been with the dollar.
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A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditchdigging. It is the insanest of all recreations. The inventor of it overlooked no detail that could furnish weariness, distress, harassment, and acute and long-sustained misery of mind and body.
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The heart is the real fountain of youth.
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Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
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Optimist: day-dreamer in his small clothes.
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