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The human race consists of the damned and the ought-to-be damned.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Damned
Consists
Ought
Race
Human
Humans

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It's lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened.
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Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people.
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... No photograph ever was good, yet, of anybody - hunger and thirst and utter wretchedness overtake the outlaw who invented it! It transforms into desperadoes the weakest of men depicts sinless innocence upon the pictured faces of ruffians gives the wise man the stupid leer of a fool, and the fool an expression of more than earthly wisdom.
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Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
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Every one knew he could foretell wars and famines, though that was not so hard, for there was always a war, and generally a famine somewhere.
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If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
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In writing, I shall always confine myself strictly to the truth, except when it is attended with inconvenience.
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I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this sort of stuff is hogwash
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Independence-is loyalty to one's best self and principles, and this is often disloyalty to the general idols and fetishes.
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April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
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Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.
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Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
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The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if a person only tells them with all his might.
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I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it.
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Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world and give out fictitious ones in their stead for general consumption.
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I don't know anything about this man. Anyhow, I only know two things about him. One is, he has never been in jail, and the other is, I don't know why.
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Hunger is the handmaid of genius
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Names are not always what they seem.
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