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The human race consists of the damned and the ought-to-be damned.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Damned
Consists
Ought
Race
Human
Humans
More quotes by Mark Twain
Jesus died to save men - a small thing for an immortal to do - and didn't save many, anyway. But if he had been damned for the race, that would have been act of a size proper to a god, and would have saved the whole race.
Mark Twain
Distance lends enchantment to the view.
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The smallest minds and the selfishest souls and the cowardliest hearts that God makes.
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When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
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Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German.
Mark Twain
It is curious and interesting to notice what an attraction a fussy, mincing, nickel-plated word has for you.
Mark Twain
No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
Mark Twain
This is the year 1492. I am eighty-two years of age. The things I am going to tell you are things which I saw myself as a child and as a youth.
Mark Twain
In the South the war is what A.D. is elsewhere they date from it.
Mark Twain
Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.
Mark Twain
Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
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You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly creations of an imagination that is not conscious of its freaks - in a word, that they are a dream, and you the maker of it. The dream-marks are all present you should have recognized them earlier.
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Make your mark in New York and you are a made man.
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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
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God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
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An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.
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Your road is everything that a road ought to be...and yet you will not stay in it half a mile, for the reason that little, seductive, mysterious roads are always branching out from it on either hand, and as these curve sharply also and hide what is beyond, you cannot resist the temptation to desert your own chosen path and explore them.
Mark Twain
Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented.
Mark Twain
A mine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.
Mark Twain
He had only one vanity he thought he could give advice better than any other person.
Mark Twain
