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The fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined to women, but now and then you find it in a little dog, and sometimes a man.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Human
Lightning
Humans
Mostly
Sometimes
Dog
Men
Fear
Infirmities
Women
Afflicted
Littles
Distressing
Find
Infirmity
Little
Confined

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Yes, always avoid violence. In this age of charity and kindliness, the time has gone by for such things. Leave dynamite to the low and unrefined.
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Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.
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I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshold of age in 1977 I shall be 142.
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Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket - which is but a matter of saying, Scatter your money and your attention but the wise man saith, Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET. - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
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Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Death, the refuge, the solace, the best and kindliest and most prized friend and benefactor of the erring, the forsaken, the old and weary and broken of heart.
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I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.
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Heroine: Girl in a book who is saved from drowning by a hero and marries him next week, but if it was to be over again ten years later it is likely she would rather have a life-belt and he would rather have her have it. Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
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Never tell a lie-except for practice.
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The man who is ostentatious of his modesty is twin to the statue that wears a fig-leaf.
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Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.
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We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.
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Distance lends enchantment to the view.
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What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.
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There are things which some people never attempt during their whole lives, but one of these is not poetry. Poetry attacks all human beings sooner or later, and, like the measles, is mild or violent according to the age of the sufferer.
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We Americans are the most lavish and showiest and most luxury loving people on the earth and at our masthead we fly one true and honest symbol, the gaudiest flag the world has ever seen.
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Don't just sit there and worry. Be proactive. Do something - anything - about what's worrying you so you can gain information, focus and control over the situation. I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.
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There's a good spot tucked away somewhere in everybody. You'll be a long time finding it, sometimes.
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I heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective.
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Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.
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