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I have tried getting up early, and I have tried getting up late-and the latter agrees with me best.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Agrees
Latter
Agree
Tried
Early
Late
Getting
Best

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The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seeing eye pierces through and reads the heart and the soul, finding there capacities which the outside didn't indicate or promise, and which the other kind of eye couldn't detect.
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Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.
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He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
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Grown people everywhere are always likely to cling to the religion they were brought up in.
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To be a patriot, one had to say, and keep on saying, Our Country, right or wrong, and urge on the little war. Have you not perceived that that phrase is an insult to the nation?
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Among other common lies, we have the silent lie - the deception which one conveys by simply keeping still and concealing the truth. Many obstinate truth-mongers indulge in this dissipation, imagining that if they speak no lie, they lie not at all.
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Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.
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America cannot have an empire abroad and a Republic at home.
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All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.
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Every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody: you have to slip around behind it if you want to see it.
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Pilgrim's Progress , about a man that left his family, it didn't say why. I read considerable in it now and then. The statements was interesting, but tough.
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In the laboratory there are no fustian ranks, no brummagem aristocracies the domain of Science is a republic, and all its citizens are brothers and equals, its princes of Monaco and its stonemasons of Cromarty meeting, barren of man-made gauds and meretricious decorations, upon the one majestic level!
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There is nothing so annoying as a good example!!
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That is a society editor, sitting there elegantly dressed, with his legs crossed in that indolent way, observing the clothes the ladies wear, so that he can describe them for his paper and make them out finer than they are and get bribes for it and become wealthy.
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Choosing not to read is like closing an open door to paradise
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When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
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I could forgive the boy, now, if he'd committed a million sins!
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The fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined to women, but now and then you find it in a little dog, and sometimes a man.
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when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.
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I was exceedingly delighted with the waltz, and also with the polka. These differ in name, but there the difference ceases
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