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But old fools is the biggest fools there is.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Fools
Biggest
Fool

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I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.
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A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificiant by and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are able to take every bit of conceit out of a man and reduce his self-importance to zero if he will only remain within the influence of their sublime presence long enough to give it a fair and reasonable chance to do its work.
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What is there that confers the noblest delight? What is that which swells a man's breast with pride above that which any other experience can bring to him? Discovery!
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Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with.
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The frankest and freest and privatest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter.
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One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself
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The fact is, the king was a good deal more than a king, he was a man and when a man is a man, you can't knock it out of him.
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My books are like water those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
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Drop this mean and sordid and selfish devotion to the saving of your shabby little souls, and hunt up something to do that's got some dignity to it! Risk your souls! Risk them in good causes then if you lose them, why should you care? Reform!
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When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface
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A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes when bad, he is entitled to none at all.
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How empty is theory in the presence of fact!
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An American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi-Gras in New Orleans.
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Learning softeneth the heart and breedeth gentleness and charity.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.
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We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that the savage has, because we know how it is made. We have lost as much as we gained by prying into that matter.
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India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers India is the only millionaire.
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I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
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Even popularity can be overdone. In Rome, along at first, you are full of regrets that Michelangelo died but by and by, you only regret that you didn't see him do it.
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