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But old fools is the biggest fools there is.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Biggest
Fool
Fools

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I have stopped smoking now and then, for a few months at a time, but it was not on principle, it was only to show off it was to pulverize those critics who said I was a slave to my habits and couldn't break my bonds.
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Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
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There have been innumerable Temporary Seekers after the Truth-have you ever heard of a permanent one?
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The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible.
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Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief.
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Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.
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If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean, it does nowadays, because now we can't burn him.
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It is easier to manufacture seven facts out of whole cloth than one emotion.
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It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.
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A man may have no bad habits and have worse
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Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
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He had only one vanity he thought he could give advice better than any other person.
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Whenever the human race assembles to a number exceeding four, it cannot stand free speech.
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.
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I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
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Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths
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What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
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