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We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Care
Think
Thinking
Toadstools
Truffles
Food

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In literature imitations do not imitate.
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The community is eminently Portuguese - that is to say, it is slow, poor, shiftless, sleepy, and lazy.
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This is the year 1492. I am eighty-two years of age. The things I am going to tell you are things which I saw myself as a child and as a youth.
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The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
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All the territorial possessions of all the political establishments in the earth--including America, of course-- consist of pilferings from other people's wash. No tribe, howsoever insignificant, and no nation, howsoever mighty occupies a foot of land that was not stolen.
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Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity. That is where the true evil lies.
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One compliment can keep me going for a whole month.
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Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
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First catch your Boer, then kick him.
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I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.
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