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We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Thinking
Toadstools
Truffles
Food
More quotes by Mark Twain
It is a solemn thought: dead, the noblest man's meat is inferior to pork.
Mark Twain
A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.
Mark Twain
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly creations of an imagination that is not conscious of its freaks - in a word, that they are a dream, and you the maker of it. The dream-marks are all present you should have recognized them earlier.
Mark Twain
To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology.
Mark Twain
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
Mark Twain
A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don't try to knock her down with it.
Mark Twain
My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.
Mark Twain
A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.
Mark Twain
After my marriage she edited everything I wrote. And what is more, she not only edited my works, she edited me.
Mark Twain
If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
Mark Twain
There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus and upset the convictions and debauch the emotions of an audience not practiced in the tricks and delusions of oratory
Mark Twain
Now, isn't imagination a precious thing? It peoples the earth with all manner of wonders.
Mark Twain
But the elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time.
Mark Twain
The dreamer's valuation of a thing lost - not another man's - is the only standard to measure it by, and his grief for it makes it large and great and fine, and is worthy of our reverence in all cases.
Mark Twain
Humor is like a frog if you dissect it, it dies.
Mark Twain
The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.
Mark Twain
One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.
Mark Twain
it is not wise to keep the fire going under a slander unless you can get some large advantage out of keeping it alive. Few slanders can stand the wear of silence.
Mark Twain
God could create the world in six days because he didn't have to make it compatible with the previous version. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company
Mark Twain
My experience with horses is that they never throw away a chance to go lame.
Mark Twain
