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You want to be very careful about lying otherwise you are nearly sure to get caught.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Otherwise
Careful
Caught
Sure
Lying
Nearly

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A man may have no bad habits and have worse
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That optimist of yours is always ready to turn hell's backyard into a play-ground.
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An ecstasy is a thing that will not go into words it feels like music.
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The sole impulse which dictates and compels a man's every act: the imperious necessity of securing his own approval, in every emergency and at all costs.... It is our only spur, our whip, our goad, our impelling power we have no other.
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You cant reach old age by another man's road, my habits protect my life but they would assassinate you
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Nothing is so ignorant as a man's left hand, except a lady's watch.
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I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
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I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.
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Seasickness: at first you are so sick you are afraid you will die, and then you are so sick you are afraid you won't die.
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I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair & reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. The proof-reading on the P & Pauper cost me the last rags of my religion.
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The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.
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Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
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How slow and still the time did drag along.
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I am always on the side of the revolutionists, because there never was a revolution unless there were some oppressive and intolerable conditions against which to revolute.
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Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.
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I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one.
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