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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Woman
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Inspirational
Week
Ugliest
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Withdraw
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Sister

More quotes by Mark Twain

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An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it.
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Do good when you can, and charge when you think they will stand it.
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When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what He doesn't know.
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All good things arrive unto them that wait - and don't die in the meantime.
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Never waste a lie you never know when you may need it.
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Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
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Every one knew he could foretell wars and famines, though that was not so hard, for there was always a war, and generally a famine somewhere.
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The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
Mark Twain
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You may honestly feel grateful that homeopathy survived the attempts of the allopaths (orthodoxy) to destroy it.
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Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it.
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The insincerity of man-all men are liars, partial or hiders of facts, half tellers of truths, shirks, moral sneaks. When a merely honest man appears he is a comet-his fame is eternal-needs no genius, no talent-mere honesty
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In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.
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Alas! those good old days are gone, when a murderer could wipe the stain from his name and soothe his trouble to sleep simply by getting out his blocks and mortar and building an addition to a church.
Mark Twain
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Kings cannot ennoble thee, thou good, great soul, for One who is higher than kings hath done that for thee but a king can confirm thy nobility to men.
Mark Twain
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My father was a Saint Bernard, my mother was a Collie, but I am a Presbyterian.
Mark Twain
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Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
Mark Twain
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Honor is a harder master than the law.
Mark Twain
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God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.
Mark Twain
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Always tell the truth then you don't have to remember anything
Mark Twain
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More than once I had seen a noble who had gotten his enemy at a disadvantage stop to pray before cutting his throat.
Mark Twain