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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Inspirational
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Ugliest
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Statements
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More quotes by Mark Twain

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We have to keep our God placated with prayer, and even then we are never sure of him-how much higher and finer is the Indian's God...Our illogical God is all-powerful in name, but impotent in fact the Great Spirit is not all-powerful, but does the very best he can for his injun and does it free of charge
Mark Twain
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By law of periodical repetition, everything which has happened once must happen again and again -- and not capriciously, but at regular periods, and each thing in its own period, not another's and each obeying its own law.
Mark Twain
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What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes my dear, and my love come from the heart but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
Mark Twain
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Between believing a thing and thinking you KNOW is only a small step and quickly taken.
Mark Twain
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A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
Mark Twain
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As a rule we develop a borrowed European idea forward, and ... Europe develops a borrowed American idea backwards.
Mark Twain
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I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
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Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first! Aunt Polly about Tom Sawyer
Mark Twain
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Never be haughty to the humble, never be humble to the haughty.
Mark Twain
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There are things which some people never attempt during their whole lives, but one of these is not poetry. Poetry attacks all human beings sooner or later, and, like the measles, is mild or violent according to the age of the sufferer.
Mark Twain
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Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?
Mark Twain
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Experience teaches us only one thing at a time - and hardly that, in my case.
Mark Twain
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Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.
Mark Twain
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The miracle or the power that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application and perseverance under the promptings of a brave, determined spirit.
Mark Twain
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It is human to exaggerate the merits of the dead.
Mark Twain
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In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination
Mark Twain
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Often a quite assified remark becomes sanctified by use and petrified by custom it is then a permanency, its term of activity a geologic period.
Mark Twain
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Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.
Mark Twain
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Do right and you will be conspicuous.
Mark Twain
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Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go.
Mark Twain