Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
Mark Twain
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Lasts
Visited
Last
Statement
Funny
Sister
Woman
Statements
Wish
Humor
Inspirational
Week
Ugliest
Ever
Seen
Withdraw
Since
Stated
More quotes by Mark Twain
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
Mark Twain
One must travel, to learn.
Mark Twain
There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others.
Mark Twain
Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
Mark Twain
Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.
Mark Twain
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
Mark Twain
Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
Mark Twain
Frankness is a jewel only the young can afford it.
Mark Twain
What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or physical structure can stand still a year. It grows - it must grow nothing can prevent it.
Mark Twain
When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious opinions. It is more than likely that He thinks about the world, now, pretty much as I think about the Innocents Abroad. The fact is, there is a trifle too much water in both.
Mark Twain
What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes my dear, and my love come from the heart but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
Mark Twain
Too bad that youth is wasted on the young.
Mark Twain
College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.
Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
Mark Twain
When majority is insane, sane must go to asylum.
Mark Twain
There has been only one Christian. They caught and curcified him-early.
Mark Twain
One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can, and if you can't, then assume one.
Mark Twain
There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.
Mark Twain
It may be called the Master Passion, the hunger for self-approval.
Mark Twain
A man may plan as much as he wants to, but nothing of consequence is likely to come of it until the magician circumstance steps in and takes the matter off his hands.
Mark Twain