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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
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Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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More quotes by Mark Twain
No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave.
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Two things seemed pretty apparent to me. One was that in order to be a pilot a man had to learn more than any one man ought to learn and the other was that he must learn it all over again in a different way every 24 hours.
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A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditchdigging. It is the insanest of all recreations. The inventor of it overlooked no detail that could furnish weariness, distress, harassment, and acute and long-sustained misery of mind and body.
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No throne exists that has a right to exist, and no symbol of it, flying from any flagstaff, is righteously entitled to wear any device but the skull and crossbones of that kindred industry which differs from royalty only businesswise-merely as retail differs from wholesale.
Mark Twain
Few of us stand prosperity another man's I mean.
Mark Twain
Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
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If you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!
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Who is this Renaissance? Where did he come from? Who gave him permission to cram the Republic with his execrable daubs?
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The solution to our water problems is more rain.
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Choosing not to read is like closing an open door to paradise
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A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty.
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A friend is someone who stays in when the rest of the world has gone out.
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I should be sorry to think it was the publishers themselves they got up this entire little flutter to enable them to unload a book that was taking too much room in their cellars, but you can never tell what a publisher will do. I have been one myself.
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There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.
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If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people
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I have thought many times since that if poets when they get discouraged would blow their brains out, they could write very much better when they got well.
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Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles
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Imagination labors best in distant fields.
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I do love compliments, yet I'm often embarrassed to say what I think to the person when I get a compliment. I so often feel that they have not gone far enough.
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The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent.
Mark Twain
