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Italy is the home of art and swindling home of religion and moral rottenness

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Home
Swindling
Rottenness
Italy
Inspiration
Moral
Religion
Art

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for business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity.
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You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
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A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
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If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean, it does nowadays, because now we can't burn him.
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I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.
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Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
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He was such a good man that people hated to see him coming.
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But we are all insane, anyway ... The suicides seem to be the only sane people.
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I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way.
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The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.
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Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'
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I wrote 'Tom Sawyer' and 'Huck Finn' for adults exclusively, and it always distressed me when I find that boys and girls have been allowed access to them. The mind that becomes soiled in youth can never again be washed clean.
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The piano may do for love-sick girls who lace themselves to skeletons, and lunch on chalk, pickles and slate pencils, but give me the banjo.
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It must be well-nigh a maximum of sense to behave so that one escapes being hanged.
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Truth is stranger than fiction-to some people, but I am measurably familiar with it.
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A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.
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The solution to our water problems is more rain.
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We consider that any man who can fiddle all through one of those Virginia Reels without losing his grip may be depended upon in any kind of musical emergency.
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In forgiving, people are not being asked to forget. On the contrary, it is important to remember, so that we should not let such atrocities happen again. Forgiveness does not mean condoning what has been done. It means taking what happened seriously...drawing out the sting in the memory that threatens our entire existence.
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