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All our acts, reasoned and unreasoned, are selfish

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Inspiration
Reasoned
Acts
Selfish

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The insincerity of man-all men are liars, partial or hiders of facts, half tellers of truths, shirks, moral sneaks. When a merely honest man appears he is a comet-his fame is eternal-needs no genius, no talent-mere honesty
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Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.
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Man proposes, but God blocks the game.
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Gratitude is a debt which usually goes on accumulating like blackmail the more you pay, the more is exacted.
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Blasphemy? No, it is not blashphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy if he is as little as that, He is beneath it.
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In the ancient city of London, on a certain autumn day in the second quarter of the sixteenth century, a boy was born to a poor family of the name of Canty, who did not want him.
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A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
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A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.
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No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot
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Humor is like a frog if you dissect it, it dies.
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It is a solemn thought: dead, the noblest man's meat is inferior to pork.
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The convention missionaries call modesty has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anybody's whim - anybody's diseased caprice.
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the more I know about people, the better I like my dogs.
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Circumstances make man, not man circumstances.
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My experience with horses is that they never throw away a chance to go lame.
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Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living.
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Drop this mean and sordid and selfish devotion to the saving of your shabby little souls, and hunt up something to do that's got some dignity to it! Risk your souls! Risk them in good causes then if you lose them, why should you care? Reform!
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In all my travels the thing that has impressed me the most is the universal brotherhood of man-what there is of it.
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Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.
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These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.
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