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All our acts, reasoned and unreasoned, are selfish

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Inspiration
Reasoned
Acts
Selfish

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God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.
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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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Whenever the human race assembles to a number exceeding four, it cannot stand free speech.
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As a boy, I once saw a cart of melons that sorely tempted me. I sneaked up to the cart and stole a melon. I went into the alley to devour it, but no sooner had I set my teeth into it, than I paused, a strange feeling coming over me. I came to a quick conclusion. Firmly, I walked up to that cart, replaced the melon - and took a ripe one.
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He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.
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The lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal the lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man's best and surest friend is immortal
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I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.
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The difference between those that succeed and those that fail is, those that succeeded tried.
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There was a great difference in boats, of course. For a long time I was on a boat that was so slow we used to forget what year it was we left port in.
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It was a place of sin, loose women, whiskey and gambling. It was no place for a good Presbyterian, and I did not long remain one.
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At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
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Agassiz does recommend authors to eat fish, because the phosphorus in it makes brains. But I cannot help you to a decision about the amount you need to eat. Perhaps a couple of whales would be enough.
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Learn from the mistakes of others - you won't live long enough to make them all yourself. He's opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer him the position.
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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
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To be satisfied with what one has that is wealth.
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Do something everyday that you don't want to do this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
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Worrying is paying interest on a debt you might not even owe.
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The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopt.
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The southerner talks music.
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