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Always tell the truth then you don't have to remember anything

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Honesty
Inspiration
Tell
Truth
Remember
Anything
Always

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I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way.
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The funniest things are the forbidden.
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I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much of it.
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While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
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I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.
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It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
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Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.
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I never write metropolis for seven cents when I can write city and get paid the same.
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God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.
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Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
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To be good is noble but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
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Genius has no youth, but starts with the ripeness of age and old experience.
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The sole impulse which dictates and compels a man's every act: the imperious necessity of securing his own approval, in every emergency and at all costs.... It is our only spur, our whip, our goad, our impelling power we have no other.
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A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
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English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put 'laughter' in the wrong place.
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I had longed to be a butterfly, and I was one at last. I attended private parties in sumptuous evening dress, simpered and aired my graces like a born beau, and polkaed and schoisched with a step peculiar to myself - and the kangaroo.
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Optimist: day-dreamer in his small clothes.
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Honor is a harder master than the law.
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To forget pain is to be painless to forget care is to be rid of it to go abroad is to accomplish both.
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