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We Americans are the most lavish and showiest and most luxury loving people on the earth and at our masthead we fly one true and honest symbol, the gaudiest flag the world has ever seen.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
World
Luxury
People
Loving
Americans
Honest
Lavish
Seen
Flag
True
Flags
Earth
Symbol
Ever
Symbols

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Optimist: day-dreamer in his small clothes.
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I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.
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Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
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If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
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When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.
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I was dead for millions of years before I was born and it never inconvenienced me a bit.
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To get the full value of joy You must have someone to divide it with. After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
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We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege.
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I speak French with timidity, and not flowingly--except when excited. When using that language I have often noticed that I have hardly ever been mistaken for a Frenchman, except, perhaps, by horses never, I believe, by people.
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Compliments make me vain: & when I am vain, I am insolent & overbearing. It is a pity, too, because I love compliments. I love them even when they are not so. My child, I can live on a good compliment two weeks with nothing else to eat.
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Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.
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Nothing is made in vain, but the fly came near it.
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There's always a hole in theories somewhere if you look close enough.
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It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head.
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Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Death, the refuge, the solace, the best and kindliest and most prized friend and benefactor of the erring, the forsaken, the old and weary and broken of heart.
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A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by.
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When I take up one of Jane Austen's books ... I feel like a barkeep entering the kingdom of heaven. I know what his sensation would be and his private comments. He would not find the place to his taste, and he would probably say so.
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Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.
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Too bad that youth is wasted on the young.
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A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
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