Quote

Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.

Mark Twain

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Children
Vegetables
Jackass
Fuel
Mule
Fairs
Illegitimate
Fair
Jackasses
Failure
Mules
Taste
Vegetable
Child
Abide
Nothing
Distinguished

More quotes by Mark Twain

Image
Bridgeport? Said I. Camelot, Said he.
Mark Twain
Image
I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't...The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further.
Mark Twain
Image
'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
Mark Twain
Image
Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.
Mark Twain
Image
There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.
Mark Twain
Image
The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
Mark Twain
Image
I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble.
Mark Twain
Image
If God had meant for us to be naked, we'd have been born that way.
Mark Twain
Image
The law is a system that protects everybody who can afford to hire a good lawyer.
Mark Twain
Image
Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood.
Mark Twain
Image
The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.
Mark Twain
Image
Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.
Mark Twain
Image
When I take up one of Jane Austen's books ... I feel like a barkeep entering the kingdom of heaven. I know what his sensation would be and his private comments. He would not find the place to his taste, and he would probably say so.
Mark Twain
Image
It is not worth while to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.
Mark Twain
Image
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
Mark Twain
Image
All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a hotel.
Mark Twain
Image
Diligence is a good thing, but taking things easy is much more restful.
Mark Twain
Image
No one can tell me what is a good cigar--for me. I am the only judge... There are no standards--no real standards. Each man's preference is the only standard for him, the only one which he can accept, the only one which can command him.
Mark Twain
Image
I pledged myself to smoke but one cigar a day. I kept the cigar waiting until bedtime, then I had a luxurious time with it. But desire persecuted me every day and all day long. I found myself hunting for larger cigars...within the month my cigar had grown to such proportions I could have used it as a crutch.
Mark Twain
Image
Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are fixed.
Mark Twain