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Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Nothing
Distinguished
Children
Vegetables
Jackass
Fuel
Mule
Fairs
Illegitimate
Fair
Jackasses
Failure
Mules
Taste
Vegetable
Child
Abide
More quotes by Mark Twain
There ain't anything that is so interesting to look at as a place that a book has talked about.
Mark Twain
The law is a system that protects everybody who can afford to hire a good lawyer.
Mark Twain
My father was a Saint Bernard, my mother was a Collie, but I am a Presbyterian.
Mark Twain
Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.
Mark Twain
I always did hate for anyone to know what my plans or hopes or prospects werefor, if I kept people in ignorance in these matters, no one could be disappointed but myself, if they were not realized.
Mark Twain
Those who do not read have no advantage over those who cannot read.
Mark Twain
Except a person be part coward, it is not a compliment to say he is brave.
Mark Twain
Heroine: Girl in a book who is saved from drowning by a hero and marries him next week, but if it was to be over again ten years later it is likely she would rather have a life-belt and he would rather have her have it. Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
Mark Twain
You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.
Mark Twain
There is not a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.
Mark Twain
Yes, always avoid violence. In this age of charity and kindliness, the time has gone by for such things. Leave dynamite to the low and unrefined.
Mark Twain
Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.
Mark Twain
It’s not the good that die young, it’s the lucky.
Mark Twain
How far we travel in life matters far less than those we meet along the way.
Mark Twain
Do your duty today and repent tomorrow.
Mark Twain
As for the dinosaur - But Noah's conscience was easy it was not named in his cargo list and he and the boys were not aware that there was such a creature. He said he could not blame himself for not knowing about the dinosaur, because it was an American animal and America had not then been discovered.
Mark Twain
A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.
Mark Twain
There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so'.
Mark Twain
It is human to exaggerate the merits of the dead.
Mark Twain
God cures and the doctor sends the bill.
Mark Twain
