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Humor is man's greatest blessing.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Men
Blessing
Humor
Greatest
Practice

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Nothing is so ignorant as a man's left hand, except a lady's watch.
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If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
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You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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Experience comes from bad judgment.
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It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
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I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
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Ours is the land of the free-nobody denies that-nobody challenges it. (Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.)
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What do we call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, forgiveness? Different results of the master impulse, the necessity of securing one's self-approval.
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Love is madness, if thwarted it develops fast.
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When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
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The house was as empty as a beer closet in premises where painters have been at work.
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Damn these human beings if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag.
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There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
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I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
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If you need help identifying actionable analytics check out this post.
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Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!
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Do something everyday that you don't want to do this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
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Conscience, man's moral medicine chest.
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Drop this mean and sordid and selfish devotion to the saving of your shabby little souls, and hunt up something to do that's got some dignity to it! Risk your souls! Risk them in good causes then if you lose them, why should you care? Reform!
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What a curious kind of fool a girl is. Never been licked in school. What's a licking?
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