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A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Trial
Nowhere
Joke
Trials
Murder
Relished
Quickly
Applauded
Jokes
Keenly
Even
Lame

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The Mississippi River will always have its own way no engineering skill can persuade it to do otherwise.
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It is higher and nobler to be kind.
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Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?
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There's a good spot tucked away somewhere in everybody. You'll be a long time finding it, sometimes.
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I said nothing of the sort.
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I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair & reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. The proof-reading on the P & Pauper cost me the last rags of my religion.
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It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.
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How empty is theory in the presence of fact!
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As a rule, we go about with masks, we go about looking honest, and we are able to conceal ourselves all through the day.
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It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head.
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The difference between fiction and nonfiction is that fiction must be absolutely believable.
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When whole races and peoples conspire to propagate gigantic mute lies in the interest of tyrannies and shams, why should we care anything about the trifling lies told by individuals?
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I suppose, just as an honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere.
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Travel is lethal to prejudice.
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If a spectacle is going to be particularly imposing I prefer to see it through somebody else's eyes, because that man will always exaggerate. Then I can exaggerate his exaggeration, and my account of the thing will be the most impressive.
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Never be haughty to the humble, never be humble to the haughty.
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What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or physical structure can stand still a year. It grows - it must grow nothing can prevent it.
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Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.
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If you're looking for friends when you need them...it's too late.
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The only very marked difference between the average civilized man and the average savage is that the one is gilded and the other is painted.
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