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A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Quickly
Applauded
Jokes
Keenly
Even
Lame
Trial
Nowhere
Joke
Trials
Murder
Relished
More quotes by Mark Twain
If everyone was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes.
Mark Twain
The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.
Mark Twain
It is so unsatisfactory to read a noble passage and have no one you love at hand to share the happiness with you. And it is unsatisfactory to read to one's self anyhow - for the uttered voice so heightens the expression.
Mark Twain
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
Mark Twain
Circumstance - which moves by laws of its own, regardless of parties and policies, and whose decrees are final and must be obeyed by all - and will be
Mark Twain
None of us can be as great as God, but any of us can be as good.
Mark Twain
I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army.
Mark Twain
No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
Mark Twain
Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
Mark Twain
It shames the average man to be valued below his own estimate of his worth.
Mark Twain
Next you'd see a raft sliding by, away off yonder, and maybe a galoot on it chopping. . . you'd see the ax flash and come down-you don't hear nothing you see the ax go up again, and by the time it's above the man's head then you hear the k'chunk!-it had took all that time to come over the water.
Mark Twain
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
Mark Twain
To eat is human, to digest, divine
Mark Twain
it is not wise to keep the fire going under a slander unless you can get some large advantage out of keeping it alive. Few slanders can stand the wear of silence.
Mark Twain
It is a solemn thought: dead, the noblest man's meat is inferior to pork.
Mark Twain
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
Mark Twain
There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.
Mark Twain
Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
Mark Twain
Love is an irreresisistible desire to be irresistibily desired.
Mark Twain
What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
Mark Twain
