Quote

When you feel like tellin a feller to go to the devil - tell him to go to Chicago - it'll anser every purpose, and is perhaps, a leetle more expensive.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Perhaps
Purpose
Tell
Feel
Feller
Feels
Tellin
Every
Chicago
Like
Expensive
Devil

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.
Mark Twain
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Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented.
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Strip the human race, absolutely naked, and it would be a real democracy. But the introduction of even a rag of tiger skin, or a cowtail, could make a badge of distinction and be the beginning of a monarchy.
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The report of my death was an exaggeration.
Mark Twain
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the more I know about people, the better I like my dogs.
Mark Twain
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Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
Mark Twain
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In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.
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Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.
Mark Twain
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It must be well-nigh a maximum of sense to behave so that one escapes being hanged.
Mark Twain
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Such is professional jealousy a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.
Mark Twain
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Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
Mark Twain
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Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
Mark Twain
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God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention.
Mark Twain
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An occultation of Venus is not half so difficult as an eclipse of the sun, but because it comes seldom the world thinks it's a grand thing.
Mark Twain
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When a person is accustomed to one hundred and thirty-eight in the shade, his ideas about cold weather are not valuable.
Mark Twain
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Mark Twain
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I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshold of age in 1977 I shall be 142.
Mark Twain
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Ignorance is not not knowin' - Ignorance is knowin' what ain't so.
Mark Twain
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I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it.
Mark Twain
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Our best built certainties are but sand-houses and subject to damage from any wind of doubt that blows
Mark Twain